Adventist Dad

Not long ago, my daughter found a little bird sitting on the patio of our home, stunned from its collision with the sliding glass door. She took the bird in, intent on nursing it back to flight, only to suffer a broken heart a few hours later as the bird breathed its last. A few years younger than Megan when the last pages of Where the Red Fern Grows put a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. Like father, like daughter.

Daily confronted with death in the news, even entertained by it on the screen, I become desensitized to it. When it becomes personal through the death of a friend, relative, neighbor, pet, or backyard bird it becomes a painful reminder that the world isn’t as God created it.

Death appears to arrive randomly and at inopportune times. Death has been called the great equalizer. Yet, its timing often seems unfair, its victims undeserving. It leaves me with unanswered questions: What happens to those whose circumstances render them unable to believe? Dare we hope for the stillborn child, the aging parent with Alzheimer’s, or the friend who loses the battle against mental illness? Is death the end for my pet dog and bird?

I don’t know how long Lazarus suffered before he died. I do know he died too soon. His friend Jesus was on His way to  visit when news came that Lazarus was ill. Days later, arriving at Lazarus’ home and  seeing the grave that had held him for four days, Jesus claimed, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live,” (John 11:25-26). This bold claim is a reassuring promise from the One who will end death and suffering and remake all things better than I can imagine them (Revelation 21:3-5; 1 Corinthians 2:9).

The sisters of Lazarus, Mary and Martha, put their trust in Jesus and His words as He passed by the professional mourners gathered at their deceased brother’s tomb. There He provided a preview of the Resurrection Day when He will shout out the wake-up call for those who sleep, His chosen, and those who have chosen Him (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17). In place of Lazarus’ name, fill-in the blank with your own, as Jesus commands, “__________ come out!” (John 11:43-44).

The signs of the times seem to say that day isn’t too far off. Still the night may last longer than I can stay “awake.” In either case, I plan to be there when the Wake-Up Call is made.

War in Afghanistan. Iraq War. Culture War. These are just a few of the wars that make news headlines and provoke heated discussions on the 24-hour news channels, while the war over our souls goes unnoticed. But while this war goes unnoticed by the news media, we and our children stand on the front lines. “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places,” Ephesians 6:12. The stakes in this war are much greater than any other, with eternal consequences, but the methods more subtle than the guns and bombs common in human conflicts.  The cosmic conflict between Christ and Satan is a war of words, where we must discern between truths and lies.

The first battle of this war occurred somewhere in the heavens (Revelation 12:7). Humanity entered the war in the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve became Earth’s first casualties, falling prey to the serpent’s lie that God’s words don’t really matter (Genesis 3:1-6). Every subsequent battle has been fought with the same artillary: truth vs. lie.

The tactics of the enemy rely on the presentation of lies that twist the truth. But just like in mathematics, getting the solution 99% right is still wrong. Take as an example Jesus confrontation with Satan described in Matthew 4:5-7. The devil quotes Psalm 91:11-12, tempting Jesus to test God’s promise to protect Him from harm as he dares Him to dive off the pinnacle of the temple. Jesus deflects Satan’s deceptive joust with a true application of God’s Word. A 99% right is best countered with a 100% truth.

Reflecting on the cosmic war, the Apostle Paul aptly applies the sword as a metaphor for Scripture. Calling for God’s people to put on the whole armor of God in Ephesians 6:10-18, he describes as essential armament “the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,” (v. 17).

As dads we need to be armed to defend, or risk becoming a casualty in the battle, and taking our family with us. Over the past several months I’ve been working at memorizing various verses from the Bible. One method I’ve found helpful is sometimes referred to as the initial letter method. This approach uses the first letter of each word as a memory trigger to get the text into your memory. For example, John 3:16 (KJV) becomes “FGSLTWTHGHOBSTWBIHSNPBHEL.”

Do you have a favorite Scripture memorization method? If so, I invite you to share by posting it here as a comment.

People apply various means to determining self-worth. Some establish their self-worth using arbitrary methods, such as what they own, whether or not people like them, or how they look. For some, self-worth is determined on a purely emotional basis: If they feel worthless, then they must be worth less; if they feel valued, then the must be worth more. These methods aren’t very scientific, but there is a more scientific method. I found a Human Life Value (HLV) calculator. This is something life insurance companies use to sell their product. I tried it out, and learned I had an approximate value of  $1,321,155. To be honest, I was surprised and a little disappointed. I figured I’d be worth more.

Some have argued that the whole concept of self-worth is flawed, useless, even destructive. Albert Ellis, Ph.D., a renowned psychologist, has argued that unconditional self-acceptance is a better approach than trying to estimate one’s worth (Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better. Impact Publishers, 2001). I suppose this is like the unconditional love that Christians often espouse.

As a parent, at least half the responsibility for teaching my children about self-worth falls on me (in case you’re wondering, the other half falls on their mother). It’s inevitable that some children get to the point where they question their worth. At least one of my children has been known to question their worth after doing something that disappointed mom and dad. Children also will question their value when mistreated by other children, or when criticized by a parent or teacher. Is the best response to simply tell them they ought to love themselves unconditionally? Or to make it more Christian,do we tell them. “God loves you unconditionally, so cheer up”?

Having been in the housing market for a couple of years now, having sold a house and now shopping for some country property, I’ve noticed that the worth of real estate is sometimes determined just as arbitrarily as some people determine their self-worth. When it comes down to it, though, the value is ultimately determined by what the a buyer will pay. In this is a lesson for both me, and my children.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body,” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV.

This statement from the Apostle Paul says it succinctly, and establishes not only the basis for our worth, but calls us to respond by honoring God. The arbitrary methods of establishing self-worth are more limited in their impact, leaving people to find new ways to prop up their self-esteem. To the contrary, the more one dwells on the extent to which God went to establish our worth–giving His life on our behalf–the more we want to do something in return. There is no longer a need to prop up our self-esteem.  The appeal to only recognize or apply God’s (or a self-produced) unconditional love seems trite, lending itself to complacency–I’m loved no matter what. The latter propels us to a higher goal–God gave His life for me, I want to do something for Him in return.

What does He ask? That we give glory to Him (John 15:8; Galatians 5:22-23).

I am mystified by prayer, its powerful potential to provoke God to action, while at the same time calling upon me to wait, and in faith trust that God hears. The former brings me to my knees, most often in times of crisis, while the latter tempts me to jump ahead of God. Yet, every man and woman who has ever walked with God makes one thing clear: prayer is vital to a God-centered life.

Perhaps you’ve been neglecting prayer. Don’t wait another minute. Pause and pray now. Invite God’s Spirit to live in  you and transform you.

Many times I’ve wondered how to pray. Search the local Adventist Book Center, other Christian bookstore, or Amazon.com and you’ll find stacks of books providing advice on prayer. I’ve read a few, but find myself coming back to Jesus’ model prayer in Matthew 6:9-13, the familiar “Our Father, which art in heaven…”

Ponder that prayer enough, and its essential elements become evident: Honor God,  pray for the coming of His kingdom, for His will to be done, for Him to supply your needs, for forgiveness and humility, and for the power to overcome temptation.

How does Jesus’s model prayer align with your prayers? When I consider my prayers, I see opportunity for growth, to seek a more meaningful conversation with God. As  a father, commanded to love my wife as Christ loves the church, and commissioned to make disciples of my children and people around the world, Jesus’ model prayer provides an effective  means to that end.  These are God’s priorities,  and putting these first comes with the promise that God will take care of whatever we need (Matthew 6:33).

So, let’s pray now,  and pray often, and pray for what matters most.